You say you want a revolution?

Uranus went retrograde on July 22nd. It will remain retrograde in Aries until Dec 22nd. Uranus is the planet that brings upheaval and revolution. Uranus shocks us out of complacency.
We have already seen this with the Ice Bucket Challenge. That sudden shock of cold water wakes us to hopefully do good.
We have seen it in Ferguson. Yes, there were all sorts of negative reports, but I am seeing folks coming together against that negativity and wanting to make genuinely good changes.
We have seen it with the shocking death of Robin Williams. One blogger likened his death to the death of JFK. Years from now we will still be talking about how it impacted us. His death has brought much needed awareness to depression, suicide, and even cyber trolls/bullying. The latter causing Twitter to re-examine its policies.
Aries is the boy scout, the hero, the knight in shining armor. Aries just wants to make everything right. Aries lacks finesse at times and the need to do right is wrapped tightly up in Aries' ego. It's is a *need* to do right more than a *want* to do right. Aries also has a tendency to get wrapped up in his ego. We see this coming out in the bias everyone has on the three issues I mentioned above. These upheavals are hitting us in our egos.
We must understand this and take it into account. Own your feelings but do not project them onto others. We all are experiencing and dealing with these upheavals in our own ways. I like to focus on the Aries overwhelming drive to do the right thing. That is what I hope prevails.
OH! Geeze, I forgot to mention the first indictment of a sitting State Governor in about 100 years. Oops! That will prove entertaining to say the least. Again, I hope the drive to do the right thing prevails now and through the elections up until the Solstice.
Hang on babies! The revolution(s) are here. Keep the faith, as LR says. Keep surfing through the changes is what I say. Uranus casts choppy waves and if you catch the right one, you'll be riding high! Weather through the lows, believe me... THINGS ARE GOING TO CHANGE!|
(c) Pamela McAfee 2014

A Sad Gay Bar

This is the "Gay Bar," we say in hushed tones.
It's on the other side of the tracks, everybody knows.
The parking lot is filled with broken bottles
A dangerous sparkle for a lot so mottled
Country music leaks out the cracks of the walls
Redneck homos?  Yeah, it's Wichita Falls!
Crossing the veil we exit the night.
Immersed in stale smoke and not enough light.
I shuffle in across the sticky floor. 
Regulars' heads lift towards the door.
It has been years since anyone cares.
Down turned faces and blank eyed stares
The melancholy presses me down on a stool.
But I won't stay long, I won't be fooled
You'll find there is no fairy wishing star
Only loneliness in the sad gay bar.



 

Bittersweet

Bittersweet Incomplete, 
I am tortured. 
The aching longing saturates my every fiber. 
Delicious misery intoxicates. 
Because to hurt like this means
I know bliss.

A Matter of Elimination

Please check the toilet in the bathroom
Make sure it isn't running.
For it has tried to escape twice
A fixture filled with cunning.

Moon over a window with breezy detachment (A Vogon love poem)

I recall your face pressed against the glass
Then it was gone, replaced by ass.
Round and white, a work of art.
Would have been perfect, except for the fart.
Glimmering, tumbling, went the pane.
Sound of a glass breaking refrain
in chorus with a baritone like Richard Burtons
Fluttered in the wind with gauzy curtains.
Lo, tonight's the winter of our discontent
And the moon over a window with breezy detachment

Crazy Cat Lady

Cats are fickle lovers
Attack your feet under covers
Purr and rub you with their face
Then runaway to find some space
Lonely lady who has been spurned
Finds love's not given but must be earned.
She rejects man's best friend,
for his love one day will end.

Zero Resistance to Inertia

He's the low man on the pole
digging his way out of a hole.
He lacks charisma and is void of charm.
Just another drone in the cube farm.
Living in quiet desperation
treading water in stagnation.
He wears his staleness like a shroud.
A nameless face in the crowd.
Bathes each night in self pity
How'd his life get so shitty?
He plans each day his escape
Live his life. Shed the crepe!
The look on his boss' face
when he finally leaves this place!
But he wonders where to go
Can't upset the status quo
His lot in life, to count the bean
And act his part of the machine.

Poetry Junkie

Some women want a man so hunky
But me, I am a poetry junkie.
Write to me about my kiss
so I can get my needed fix.
Oh, the high of good rhyme
Smoke, or snort, or mainline.
Write to me about your affection
I need it now, you're my connection!

The Muse Eludes

This playful game of hide and seek
is enough to make me want to shriek!!!
I want to write, I tell folks
only my muse, I must coax.
Come here little musey..... I call out
She runs away with a pout.
NO! I will not come today
I'd rather just run away.
She scampers off with a sulk
I stare at the paper with no result.
Talk about such attitudes!
It frustrates when the muse eludes.

Like Rain...

I was born in the sign of water.
Ever to be Selene's daughter.
Conscripted like the tide.
From you I have nowt to hide.
Intensely, my emotions flow
when I cry, you want to know
what are my secret fears?
Why am I prone to tears?
I feel so raw when I'm with you
My feelings come, strong and true.
I cry at almost anything
Like a sudden storm in spring.
Like rain my teardrops fall
over nothing at all.
I can't explain why I rain.
It's  not something I can train.
Stuff emotions and deny.
Because with you I cannot lie.
Salty rain falls down my cheek
I chuckle that I sprang a leak.
I promise that I'm in no pain
I just need a little rain,
In my tears, the salt of earth
will cleanse me through pain or mirth
Why I cry, I do not know
but honestly, my tears do flow.
Sometimes I need a little cry.
Passion is seldom dry  ;)

"Drunkenly sing about clouds in a blind panic"

I think of Billy Pilgrim
of Vonnegut's Prose.
Man unstuck in time
He says, "And so it goes."
Memories archived
Filed in my mind.
Retrieve a moment
I'm back in time
People may say
I live in the past
But as minutes fly
I try to hold fast.
Because what I know
is what I was
I'm what I did
not what she does.
I can't be sure
of what will be
nothing controls
eternity
I ground my self
I am now here
then a memory
begins to steer
me back in time
and i am nowhere
Between now here and nowhere
is only air.
Truth is I'm worried
of what is to come
I stay in the past
to keep myself numb
Drunkenly sing about clouds
in a blind panic
and live in the past
where my view's panoramic. 


  

Vogons Are My Friends

My tuna fish sandwich tastes best with pickles.
Then follow that up with butter brickles.
You don't look good in those short shorts.
They barely cover all your warts.
I feel cold with defeat,
like hardened gum under a seat.
Tomorrow I need to wash my clothes.
Time for bed, I suppose.

Ode to Idols

Sandberg had his foggy cats.
Owen choked with mustard gas.
Parker made a pass or two.
Auden's topic was who?
Seuss and Carroll made up words.
Coleridge Taylor is for the birds!
Emerson did transcend.
Kipling rose quite a Din.
Wordsworth had flower power.
Poe's bells toll the midnight hour.
Frost is just down the road.
cummings had his own code.
A Stein is a Stein is a Stein.
Browning counted line by line.
Thomas raged into the night.
Blake was always burning bright.
Angelou knows the the song's the thing!
Dickinson's a belle that has a ring
Nash's candy, oh so sweet.
There is no way this list's complete
Over their verses I peruse,
hoping for my own muse.

Betrayed

Once was the time, I was in bliss
I had never known feelings like this.
I hardly know where to start
Maybe I start with the heart
It was a strong heart in those days.
It was so true, I knew it'd stay
mine forever, heart so true.
And it was mine, I'd never be blue.
Those hands. So soft and yet strong,
held the treasures that belong
to me. Held in the grip
I was certain would not slip.
With these legs we traveled places.
Explored new exciting spaces.
Those eyes danced brightly with delight
taking in each wonderful sight.
I feel the breath on my face
Those memories will not erase
The times I thought would never end.
The times when you were my best friend.
And now in bed, I am betrayed
on my own, and afraid.
The heart that beat for me in my youth,
is weaker now I'm long in tooth.
The hands, the legs, those eyes so brown
Betrayed me too, they let me down.
Breath is labored, memories elude.
I'll end like this, I must conclude.
Why not fight to keep what's gone?
or let it go and carry on?
I can't let go don't you see
My own body betrayed me.
(How I feel about Fibro and Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disorder.)
*Written in 2014 before my HSD/hEDS diagnosis 

5

5
There once was a robot called five.
Struck by lightning, he then was alive.
He became very needy.
And he met Ally Sheedy.
A brand new franchise did thrive.

Friday (Your Gods/Goddesses are talking to my muses.... You know who you are!)

Moody Monday skulks on past.
The hated day is gone at last.
Tuesday comes prepared to fight.
Battling tasks with much might.
Wednesday's win, we take the hill.
But we have two days still.
Thursday strikes with a boom.
Smell that air, it's coming soon!
Friday's here before you know
Cloaked in colors, clad in gold
She guards the gate to paradise
Directs you to the other side
There you get 2 days to rest
Before you're  back to the test
Cycled through another week
Moody Monday with outlook bleak
But you are blessed to fight once more
Ever engaged in eternal war.
But Friday will return again,
Drawn by cats.  Rejoice then.
And so it goes without fail
As long as the dragon eats his tail.

Achoo Haiku

The sun wakes the earth.
Trees and flowers now awake
as are allergies

Store In A Dark Place

The bottle says, "Store in a dark place."
This may affect your sense of taste.
"This stuff tastes bad," I say with a frown.
"A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down."
You have to take it to make you well.
But drugs can't cure my kind of hell.
My body fights its private war.
But my soul is broken to the core.
Injuries sustained in my past
are holding on, built to last.
The pains that were never revealed
Can never begin to be healed
Because they are stored in a dark, dark, place
Where my monsters all have chased
The little girl who learned to crawl
under covers and curl into a ball.
And there it is I cannot hide
from the monsters deep inside.
When the monster, very real,
slides his hand up to feel,
That part of you he should not touch
it scares a child very much.
But it's not what that monster did
That ruined this little kid.
It was the ones I had to trust
who looked at me with disgust
for making up such hurtful lies
They turned their heads and shut their eyes
In a blink my deed transformed
me to the harmer from the harmed.
An ugly creature to be shunned
for the evil I have done.
Innocent falls off me like a cloak.
On words unsaid, I do choke.
A tainted and a damaged child
Not to be loved, but reviled.
Unwelcome to be in your space,
I learn to hide in my dark, dark place.
And when I feel a little brave
And as long as I can behave
I pretend that I'm like you.
Because I know what is true.
Monsters look like me and you
You can look them in the face
they slip on by without a trace
Because no one listens in the dark, dark, place

A yarn of yearning

You take a thread of brilliant yellow
It catches my eye, "An interesting fellow!"
I add a thread of baby blue
It draws you in to wonder who...
Next the gleaming flash of white
like the stars shine in the night
The cloth has started to be fashioned
Woven with the red of passion
Cord by cord, day by day
Colors go from drab to gay
Through the laughter and the strife
We weave the fabric of our life
A rich tapestry made for kings
started out as simple strings
One by one they intertwine
And now your life is also mine